Amid the endless loads of laundry that need folded and the dishes that are done for 5 minutes before there are more I see two tiny people that I am in charge of each and every day. Maybe it is the fact that we have been at home for almost two weeks sick, or maybe its the new year and thoughts of goals and hopes for the year dominate ones thoughts. Or maybe it is the fact that the holidays just ended and the holidays are magical for every age. But it has made me think about how my time is spent each day.
I know there are tasks and chores that must be done. Laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping and meal preparations. But, with that never ending list in mind and my to do list in the back of my head what do our days look like to my kids? As we make yet another trip to Walmart or Target and they try to sit patiently in the cart while I bribe them with treats are they having fun? Maybe. Maybe not. While I put on another pointless cartoon so I can clean up the house and do the dishes are their brains slowly turning to mush as they are trained to become the couch potatoes and video game junkies that I swore my kids would never be?
Life happens. Life cannot always be fun or entertaining. As parents we can't bounce from one fun activity to the next without teaching our children about the other equally important parts of life. But, I feel life is full of much more than I am showing them at the moment and for that I feel truly guilty. I am tired. Exhausted really. I have not slept more than a few hours at a time in nearly 4 years. I'm also a perfectionist and tend to bite off more than I can chew. I want to be everything for everyone. I need to be better at finding balance and I need to be better and making magic for my kids.
We are all children only once. We experienced everything as children with wonderment and enthusiasm. That seems to change the older you get. Until you have children. Then you get a chance to experience it again. Snow. The first flowers or spring. Baby animals. Baby siblings. Fireworks on the 4th of July. The changing of the seasons. Carving pumpkins. The magic or Christmas. All of these things and everything in between.
I want my children to remember their childhood being full of not just memories but magical memories. The big holidays as well as little things in their day to day life. Things that to me may not be magical but to them hopefully will be. That is my resolution for the new year. Making magical days, times, memories with my kids because as everyone says...."It goes too fast." "You'll wish for these days back." "Enjoy it while you can." I will listen to those phrases because it does go too fast, and I WILL enjoy every single minute of it. Hopefully, so will they.